Nothing is wrong with meI always used to hate when people looked at me. I wished to be invisible, tried to be like everyone else. It never worked. Why me? Whatīs wrong with me?
Very powerful stuff. You're very deep in your writing. I can tell you've got the talent.
There is a lot of thought into this poem, as there are many philosophical things you're talking about, in this poem/story.
I agree that labelling isn't the best thing for humans.
-> Why? Why it´s so hard to escape labels? Why is there nowhere to run? What´s wrong with me? <-
However, I have a curiosity. The poem is written in both, the past and present tenses. Which tense do you intend to write the poem/story?
I always hated when people looked at me. I wished to be invisible, tried to be like others. It never worked. Why me? What´s wrong with me? <- Past tense.
I´m scared. I look behind me to see people standing there, watching me with cold, cruel eyes. What´s wrong with me? <- Present tense. We usually don't mix them up. That's the only thing that doesn't quite feel right in the poem/story.
Other than the tenses, though, this is very good stuff.
Thank you. iīm so glad that you like that. it means so much for me.
The story is happening in the presence, so thatīs why I used present tense. But when the character is talking about his past, things that happened to him (like bullying in the school), itīs past and thatīs why I used past tense. Sorry for giving you a feeling of mixing it.
I agree that you can change the tenses that the characters use when they're talking. However, in some parts of your work, though, in some of the non-dialogue parts, the tenses shift a bit.